Post by ati "The Hero" on Sept 27, 2014 13:35:53 GMT -6
Here i will write down everything i know about writing a game reviews. I will probably repeat this every once in a while.
Volume 1
[/spoiler]
Now if you want to... WHY THE HELL DOES THIS HAPPEN ALL THE TIMES? WHY DO YOU BURN OUT SO EASILY? ...Okay, i stopped caring. Anyways, if you want to use gimmicky stuff, just be sure that you can use it properly. This stuff can be the gimmick itself (the characters), a rating meter, where yous how the rating you gave to the game, or anything really. ...Okay... i'm back... so, did you explain it to them while i was "away"? Yes, MR.Steamtrain. Why are you mad? Do i really need to tell you? Okay, this isn't going anywhere. Is there anything other on our list? Nope. Okay. Then we'll just need the ending.
Whew, well, this wasn't as easy as i thought. Anyways, if you want me to help you out (give you building criticism) with a review, then send it do me via PM. But if you want to get other people's thoughts on it, feel free to post it here. Also, if you have any questions, feel free to ask.[/spoiler]
Volume 1
Hello there. Here, i'm going to try to teach you how to write a game review, you will not like, but others will. (You will always think that it's bad, no matter what. Well, if you're like me.)
I have a "guest" with me, or i guess we could call him a co-host of this thing. While i will teach you about how exactly write a review, he will teach you about what makes a good character, when to use a gimmick, and much more. So, reveal yourself.
Hi, i'm Jack Williams, you may also know me as ati's crazier self that exists since he played through BattleBlock Theather. As you see, i'm not as crazy as i am in the reviews, but we'll get back to that. Anyways, can we start?
By me.
I have a "guest" with me, or i guess we could call him a co-host of this thing. While i will teach you about how exactly write a review, he will teach you about what makes a good character, when to use a gimmick, and much more. So, reveal yourself.
Hi, i'm Jack Williams, you may also know me as ati's crazier self that exists since he played through BattleBlock Theather. As you see, i'm not as crazy as i am in the reviews, but we'll get back to that. Anyways, can we start?
By me.
Part 1: How to start
Starting the review is the hardest part if you ask me. Especially starting your first review. Now, we have a few questions: What game do i review? Should i use a gimmick or not? Should i review a new game or an old?
To answer "your" questions, Review the game you want. If you'd like to review DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball, then do that. A review will be a review, no matter what the game is. Just be sure that you're not biased fr, or against the game. Or if you are, be sure that it doesn't ruin your review. (I would recommend reading my Contra review. I'm more than biased for the game, but i think that i still gave it fair points, if we count it's age.) I'll let Jack answer the second question.
"Should i use a gimmick?" Eh? Well, depends. If you don't feel like you're funny enough, then do it. If you feel like you are funny enough, then give it a try without it. If it fails, give a gimmick a try, and then go with the one people liked more.
And the third question goes back to the first. You should review a game you want. So if you want to review Cluster's Revenge, then so be it. The game can't ruin the review itself, it can only ruin the points you give it.
To answer "your" questions, Review the game you want. If you'd like to review DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball, then do that. A review will be a review, no matter what the game is. Just be sure that you're not biased fr, or against the game. Or if you are, be sure that it doesn't ruin your review. (I would recommend reading my Contra review. I'm more than biased for the game, but i think that i still gave it fair points, if we count it's age.) I'll let Jack answer the second question.
"Should i use a gimmick?" Eh? Well, depends. If you don't feel like you're funny enough, then do it. If you feel like you are funny enough, then give it a try without it. If it fails, give a gimmick a try, and then go with the one people liked more.
And the third question goes back to the first. You should review a game you want. So if you want to review Cluster's Revenge, then so be it. The game can't ruin the review itself, it can only ruin the points you give it.
Part 2: The Gimmick
[/spoiler]
{Only open if you decided that you want to use a gimmick.}
If you want to use a gimmick, listen. The first thing you want to do, is think of a gimmick that is original, or at least you something you can make to seem like something new.
Let's use ati's gimmick for example. His gimmick is that he's crazy, and that i'm and Marilyn are only his personalities. (So basically he has MPD but whatever)
Now this gimmick is just a "Me and my buddies review things" gimmick with a grain of salt. But as you see, it's fresh. So if you decide that a gimmick would do good for you, start with the question: "What gimmick could i improve, so it becomes fresh and new?" And if you do that, you'll just have to worry about building the characters.
Let's use ati's gimmick for example. His gimmick is that he's crazy, and that i'm and Marilyn are only his personalities. (So basically he has MPD but whatever)
Now this gimmick is just a "Me and my buddies review things" gimmick with a grain of salt. But as you see, it's fresh. So if you decide that a gimmick would do good for you, start with the question: "What gimmick could i improve, so it becomes fresh and new?" And if you do that, you'll just have to worry about building the characters.
Part 3: The Struggles In Writing A Review
The struggles of writing a review. Writing a review can be very hard, or very easy. Probably this is the only thing that depends on the game you're reviewing. But never take the easy way. A short review (super short if you ask me) is never enjoyable. Just writing "I like the game 8/10" will not make anyone get the
game. (More on this in "Part 4: Length Of The Review)
Why? Because you don't give the a thing that i call "The list of pros and cons that can make or break the game". Or well... i guess it's just a normal pros and cons. Anyways, If you read any of my reviews, i explain the rating i give the section in the end of it. There are times i don't explain it as much, but if i don't, then you can find the explanation in the big wall of text above the rating.
Now if you only write down the explanation, then that's okay. You still explain the rating, without a wall of text. But if you can, write down that wall of text, because it gives more look into why did you gave it that rating.
game. (More on this in "Part 4: Length Of The Review)
Why? Because you don't give the a thing that i call "The list of pros and cons that can make or break the game". Or well... i guess it's just a normal pros and cons. Anyways, If you read any of my reviews, i explain the rating i give the section in the end of it. There are times i don't explain it as much, but if i don't, then you can find the explanation in the big wall of text above the rating.
Now if you only write down the explanation, then that's okay. You still explain the rating, without a wall of text. But if you can, write down that wall of text, because it gives more look into why did you gave it that rating.
Part 4: Length Of The Review
Continuing on the thought in Part 3, the length of your review can make the review, or break the review. Now, you don't need to write a review that takes up three pages to read through, but you do need to write something. I'd recommend the length of my review (with the removal of the Completionist Bonus and the Completionist-O-Meter), but everyone has his/her size of long. So the thing i recommend is to write down everything, and more. To start with, write down every major part of a game, then a bonus. "Oh, this game has VC? Add. This game is MP only? Add", Add literally everything you think that could make/would make people buy the game, or leave it, then add it.
Part 5: Presentation
The presentation is another major part of the review. Now, i will not go around, saying how you should write EVERYTHING in a review, but you do need to know some of the basic stuff.
Now, this is mostly about the gimmicky people like me, so if you're not in that group, start reading under the red colored writing.
Now, if you want to write a review, where you have more than one characters, and want to make it so people see that there are more than one people talking, you can do it in two ways.
Way one:
ati: So, what are we doing today?
King Skull:WE WILL GO INSANE!
Way 2:
So what are we doing today?
WE WILL GO INSANE!
(If you choose the latter, you will need to write down the cast of the review in the end, but i still recommend that.)
Now the basic presentation.. well, you can decide the most of it. The only thing you need to know about it, is that you need to somehow show that you finished a section. (The "-------" lines for me)
Now, this is mostly about the gimmicky people like me, so if you're not in that group, start reading under the red colored writing.
Now, if you want to write a review, where you have more than one characters, and want to make it so people see that there are more than one people talking, you can do it in two ways.
Way one:
ati: So, what are we doing today?
King Skull:WE WILL GO INSANE!
Way 2:
So what are we doing today?
WE WILL GO INSANE!
(If you choose the latter, you will need to write down the cast of the review in the end, but i still recommend that.)
Now the basic presentation.. well, you can decide the most of it. The only thing you need to know about it, is that you need to somehow show that you finished a section. (The "-------" lines for me)
Part 6: The Gimmicky Stuff
Now if you want to... WHY THE HELL DOES THIS HAPPEN ALL THE TIMES? WHY DO YOU BURN OUT SO EASILY? ...Okay, i stopped caring. Anyways, if you want to use gimmicky stuff, just be sure that you can use it properly. This stuff can be the gimmick itself (the characters), a rating meter, where yous how the rating you gave to the game, or anything really. ...Okay... i'm back... so, did you explain it to them while i was "away"? Yes, MR.Steamtrain. Why are you mad? Do i really need to tell you? Okay, this isn't going anywhere. Is there anything other on our list? Nope. Okay. Then we'll just need the ending.
Whew, well, this wasn't as easy as i thought. Anyways, if you want me to help you out (give you building criticism) with a review, then send it do me via PM. But if you want to get other people's thoughts on it, feel free to post it here. Also, if you have any questions, feel free to ask.[/spoiler]
{Volume 2}Hello there. This will be me, Jack, and possibly Marilyn (who has a new logo) will be helping you with the formatting of a review, and the ways to fill it out. (Take it as the second class.)
What you're reading is something we call the "Blank Review" where i You mean we, right? ...okay, so, we will pick a game (Saints Row 3 this time) and throw things about it in as an explanation, and throw a bunch of stuff into your face, about the wonders of formatting and basically making a review. It will be fun! Nope.
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Now, the formatting isn't that hard (if you want to do it the way i... i mean "we" do it.), it's just writing the major parts of a game down, then adding content you think would be good additions. (See: Completionist Bonus, Completionist-O-Meter, renaming "Difficulty" to "The Struggle", etc.)
The introduction: The introduction is a major section. Here you say what game you wil review, give it a "fun" name, and just start joking if you have more than one characters. (Or i guess you could just start in general.)
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Ratings: (This part also includes the filling out part)
Do you know how to fill out a review? No. Do you want to know how to do so? No? C'mon Jack, have a little spirit. But I AM a spirit. Were you smoking weed with RVD again? . . . No? . . . I'm really tired of you being high...
Anyways, we don't condone drug usage. Jack just happens to be a high flyer, if you know what i mean.
Back to helping you out, you fill out a section like this (in my way):
Name: (Name of the part of the game you will explain and rate in this section, Let's say this is the "Soundtrack" section.)
*Fill out* (The "Fill Out" as i call it, is the bigger explanation of why you gave that part of the game the rating of x/y. Also include jokes these, because these are 3.5/4 of your review. Example: (This will be in the SR3 review. Not exactly like this, but it will be in.)
See? This isn't the best joke, but it's still a joke.. i guess...)
The next part you will need are the Pros and cons. Where you write down the things you liked/didn't like in that part of the game in a few words.
Example:
Now as you saw, i gave it a rating too. If you will go with my system of rating, you will need to learn a few rules.
1. Same amount of negative and positive is 5/10
2. Two negatives one positive results in 3/10
3. Two positives and one negative results in 7/10
4. Only positives are 10/10
5. Only negatives are 0/10
6. You may add 0.X amount of points if you feel like taht would be fair
Now you know how to rate.
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Bonust content:
You can add all the bonust content you want, as long as people like them. I will not go back to being sane, just because i'm tired of Jack's shit.
I don't think i could go back to being sane even if i wanted though... so there's that...
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Conclusion:
This is the place where you add sum up all the ratings you gave to the game, then give it a rating that you think is fair, counting the ratings you gave to the sections. At least one type of rating system is a must. Wether it be x/100, x/10 or the Completionist rating type.
----------------------------------Completionist-O-Meter-------------------------------------
(Optional, the "ratings" can be optional too. See: Kick it!, Rage it!, Try it!, Send it to JoWood!)
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Cast: (Can be added if the review i "played" by more than one people)
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Here, i will give you a literal blank review formatting, what you can just copy-paste, and write your review into. You may add/delete any bonus content you want.
I hope this helped, and as always, if you have a question, feel free to ask.
What you're reading is something we call the "Blank Review" where i You mean we, right? ...okay, so, we will pick a game (Saints Row 3 this time) and throw things about it in as an explanation, and throw a bunch of stuff into your face, about the wonders of formatting and basically making a review. It will be fun! Nope.
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VOL 2. Part 1:
The basic formatting
The basic formatting
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Now, the formatting isn't that hard (if you want to do it the way i... i mean "we" do it.), it's just writing the major parts of a game down, then adding content you think would be good additions. (See: Completionist Bonus, Completionist-O-Meter, renaming "Difficulty" to "The Struggle", etc.)
The introduction: The introduction is a major section. Here you say what game you wil review, give it a "fun" name, and just start joking if you have more than one characters. (Or i guess you could just start in general.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ratings: (This part also includes the filling out part)
Do you know how to fill out a review? No. Do you want to know how to do so? No? C'mon Jack, have a little spirit. But I AM a spirit. Were you smoking weed with RVD again? . . . No? . . . I'm really tired of you being high...
Anyways, we don't condone drug usage. Jack just happens to be a high flyer, if you know what i mean.
Back to helping you out, you fill out a section like this (in my way):
Name: (Name of the part of the game you will explain and rate in this section, Let's say this is the "Soundtrack" section.)
*Fill out* (The "Fill Out" as i call it, is the bigger explanation of why you gave that part of the game the rating of x/y. Also include jokes these, because these are 3.5/4 of your review. Example: (This will be in the SR3 review. Not exactly like this, but it will be in.)
Personally, i like some of the in game musicscscs. I mean, who could forget the songs which's names i forgot, and the greatest hit of Kanye East... don't ask me what the name of the song is... Power?
No men's meant to have all that power. I need fried chicken, the fried chicken is ours. Man yo' trippin, trippin' on the cowards. ...Wow Jack, that was terrible, and racist.
No men's meant to have all that power. I need fried chicken, the fried chicken is ours. Man yo' trippin, trippin' on the cowards. ...Wow Jack, that was terrible, and racist.
See? This isn't the best joke, but it's still a joke.. i guess...)
The next part you will need are the Pros and cons. Where you write down the things you liked/didn't like in that part of the game in a few words.
Example:
+Pretty good (i guess licenced) songs
-You can't use your music from the hard drive
-they get a bit repetetive after time
3/10
-You can't use your music from the hard drive
-they get a bit repetetive after time
3/10
Now as you saw, i gave it a rating too. If you will go with my system of rating, you will need to learn a few rules.
1. Same amount of negative and positive is 5/10
2. Two negatives one positive results in 3/10
3. Two positives and one negative results in 7/10
4. Only positives are 10/10
5. Only negatives are 0/10
6. You may add 0.X amount of points if you feel like taht would be fair
Now you know how to rate.
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Bonust content:
You can add all the bonust content you want, as long as people like them. I will not go back to being sane, just because i'm tired of Jack's shit.
I don't think i could go back to being sane even if i wanted though... so there's that...
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Conclusion:
This is the place where you add sum up all the ratings you gave to the game, then give it a rating that you think is fair, counting the ratings you gave to the sections. At least one type of rating system is a must. Wether it be x/100, x/10 or the Completionist rating type.
----------------------------------Completionist-O-Meter-------------------------------------
(Optional, the "ratings" can be optional too. See: Kick it!, Rage it!, Try it!, Send it to JoWood!)
ˇ
Wait until the review is out!
^
Wait until the review is out!
^
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Cast: (Can be added if the review i "played" by more than one people)
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VOL 2. Part 2:
The Blank Review
The Blank Review
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Here, i will give you a literal blank review formatting, what you can just copy-paste, and write your review into. You may add/delete any bonus content you want.
*intoduction place*
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Story:
/
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Completionist Bonus:
/
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Soundtrack:
/
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Gameplay:
/
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The Struggle/Difficulty:
/
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Level Design:
/
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Conclusion:
----------------------------------Completionist-O-Meter-------------------------------------
ˇ
^
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Cast:
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Story:
/
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Completionist Bonus:
/
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Soundtrack:
/
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Gameplay:
/
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The Struggle/Difficulty:
/
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Level Design:
/
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Conclusion:
----------------------------------Completionist-O-Meter-------------------------------------
ˇ
^
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Cast:
I hope this helped, and as always, if you have a question, feel free to ask.
